75 Most Annoying Things to Do In an Elevator
by purplefishcake
Summary: Fuji was bored during the Christmas holidays. He receives a list from Inui. What happens?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Ehehe…I found this list on someone's profile a while ago and I thought that I should write a fic about it…So, Enjoy!**

* * *

Fuji sat at his desk. Christmas would be no fun this year. Everyone was either too busy to hang out with him or was simply away on vacation. And that meant that there was no one to bother.

He also had nothing to do. All the Christmas gifts had been bought months earlier and his homework had been done early as well. Courses have stopped because the buildings had mysteriously caught on fire and the teachers had been attacked by rapid Tasmanian devils that had mysteriously appeared in Japan.*cough*Fuji*cough*

His parents needed to go on a business trip and won't be back until March and his sister was on a plane to Mexico to visit an old friend and his brother Yuuta was spending his Christmas with Mizuki, scouting potential tennis players to join their tennis team…But, knowing Fuji, he'll mess with Mizuki later for fun and tell the people they've scouted that Mizuki was a girl in disguise and that he was gathering them all in one place to feed them to his tarantula. And then he would get a real tarantula from a pet store as proof and then somehow convince them to feed Mizuki to the tarantula…

Or he could go back to the Torturer's Academy…He got to torture so many people there.

Meh, he might as well buy some new cactuses…

He turned on his computer hoping to find cactuses for sale on ebay. As he opened the internet, an e-mail from Inui caught his eye.

_Fuji, _

_I'm 99.999999999999999999% certain that you are very bored right now._

Fuji wondered how he knew.

_Attached is a list of things I want to you to do this holiday for research purposes. I want to do a study on the tennis regulars from other schools as I don't have enough information on them. _

Fuji wondered what type of research Inui was talking about.

_You are now thinking what type of research this is. _

Is Inui psychic?

_Well, this is psychological research to test how long they could keep their sanity after you apply these actions on them. _

'Does that mean that they'll go crazy after these experiments?' Fuji thought.

_Quite so. That is the purpose of this study. To see how long they can keep their sanity before they lose them and be admitted into a mental institute._

'What if they're like Tezuka and do not become crazy?'

_If that does happen, do what you can and want to make them crazy. Send them to Mizuki, for all I care, and let him bore them into insanity. _

_Once you've done so, please record all your findings in a book and send it to my address in Antarctica at the bottom of the page…It was the only place on Earth that I thought that no one can find me or my research…I have tried the bottom of the ocean and inside an active volcano and inside a therapists' ear. They don't work. At least here I can use penguins as guards. All I have to do is threaten them with my juice which makes me wonder why everyone hates my juice and is so afraid of it. I must say, it is verly refreshing._

_Please help me. This is a win-win situation for the both of us. I get my research and you get to bother people and pacify your need to kill people with your cactus out of boredom._

_Your friend, _

_Inui Sadaharu_

Fuji downloaded the list from his computer and printed it. He smirked evilly as he read the list.

* * *

**A/N: So, how is it? I know that it is short and the story will really start on the next chapter. As I mentioned earlier, I found the list on someone's profile…I can't remember whose. I'll tell you later when I find out…So I don't own the list of the most annoying things to do in an elevator.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!!**


	2. Number 1 Marui

**A/N: Here's the first chapter!! Exams are finally over!!! ^^**

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**#1:**

**When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.**

* * *

Fuji waited in the elevator of a candy shop. Apparently, this candy shop is so big that it needs an elevator to get to the top shelves.

Fuji knew that the candy-loving tennis player Marui will be here as he always was.

But, then again, it was Christmas so he might be elsewhere…

POP

Fuji turned his head toward the popping noise, hoping that it was our favourite red-haired sweet-addict.

"Fuji!" he called out. He was already in the elevator. Candy World was so big and is literally a world of candy. (Picture a shop the shape of a ball that goes round and round and round and round the entire district. They have their own gravity-producing-thingy in there to prevent customers from rolling as well that tastes and looks like candy, so you can guess that millions of kids in Japan have eaten gravity-producing-thingies and how they enter this shop is still a mystery.)

Fuji ignored Marui. "Fuji!" Marui called again. He thought that Fuji hadn't heard him.

"!!!!" Marui shouted. He wasn't really a patient person. His voiced echoed in the elevator and could also be heard outside the elevator in Candy World. His voice caused a candy avalanche which buried little children and parents who were in there buying a seemingly harmless bag of candy.

When I said 'seeming harmless' I meant that Inui worked there as a candy manufacturer (Candies there are hand-made!) and you'll never know if your candy has been contaminated with Inui juice or Inui tea or Inui coffee or Inui sweat. (He might have been working out while making the candy.)

So Marui and Inui are the causes of deaths of children in Japan…At lease the causes of children who ate candy there and went there on that particular day. But, candy avalanches happen all the time there, and no corpses have been found so far…

Anyways, once the avalanche ended, Fuji turned and faced Marui. "Hello there, stranger, do I know you from somewhere?"

"FUJI! IT'S MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! MARUIIIIIIIIII!!!" Sugar is an unlimited source of energy and is the root cause of hyper-activeness.

Fuji cocked his head.

"I'M ONE OF THE REGULARS FROM THE SCHOOL RIKKAIDAI!"

"Hey, aren't you that man who was milking a cow in that picture over there?" Fuji asked, pointing to an invisible picture on the wall.

"THERE IS NO PICTURE ON THE WALL!!"

"Oh, okay." Fuji began ignoring him again.

After much shouting, and littering of candy wrappers Marui ate to make his voice louder, Marui gave up.

He turned his back at Fuji.

Fuji read the first thing to do again. He didn't want to tap. What if Marui somehow mysteriously dies? Authorities would check his body for fingerprints and they would find his and accuse him for murder. It was a good thing he brought a cactus!

_Poke. Poke. Poke._

The list didn't say anything about poking.

_Poke. Poke. Poke._

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Marui shouted, jumping up and down, "FUUJIIIIIII!!! QUIT IT!!!"

Fuji, who had been 'playing dress-up with a cactus' turned to face Marui.

Marui raised an eyebrow before shrugging it off.

_Poke. Poke. Poke._

"I SAID STOP SO STOP!!!"

"What happened?"

"SOMEONE WAS POKING ME WITH A FEW SHARP KNIVES AND THEY WON'T STOP!! ARE YOU SURE IT WASN'T YOU???!!!"

Fuji's face turned serious. He put his cactus back in his bag. "That might have been the ugly-knife-holding-gender-changing-dog-thing-ear-legged elevator ghost."

"The ugly-knife-holding-gender-changing-dog-thing-ear-legged elevator ghost?" Marui repeated. His feet were trembling.

"Yes. They say that it was an old lady who was in this very elevator with a dog. She and the dog were holding knives and some kid ate the gravity-producing-thingy and then they were spinning and then she cut herself and the dog some cake. They also said that there was something in the cake that merged them into one being."

Marui's whole body was shivering as was his candy.

"And they also said that they were so ugly that they became ghosts…Somehow. And then they got hit by a ghost car."

Marui then became scared of the ghost car and used his bubble gum to make a really big bubble and popped it in front of the elevator door. The bubble gum exploded and so did the door.

Police officers came to check out what made the noise and arrested Marui for vandalism after they saw the exploded door.

"Wait, officers!" Fuji said.

"Yeah?"

"He's mentally unstable and gay, so he didn't really know what he was doing. Please don't arrest him."

"Meh, alright." The police officer got out his walkie-talkie and called an ambulance.

"I'M STILL SANE!! AND I'M NOT GAY!!!" Marui shouted.

"That's what he always says," Fuji said, heaving a dramatic sigh.

Marui began knocking his head on the stretcher. (1)

The police officers treated themselves to some candy for a good day's work.

* * *

**Marui:**

**Was said to be mentally unstable and gay and was brought to the mental institute to cure his mental problems and his gayness (2). Police officers ate Inui candy and went into a coma.**

Fuji wrote the report in a random notebook he found somewhere.

He also made a mental note to himself to destroy Candy World later. We do not know what goes inside the tensai's evil mind.

"One down, seventy-four more to go."

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**A/N: My exams have ended!! Good news is that holidays will start next week. Bad news is that it's a 2-week holiday! Just 2 weeks! So short! T.T**

**The walls there were made of candy.**

**No offense to anyone gay out there…**

**PLEASE REVIEW!!**


	3. Number 2 Kirihara

**A/N: The second thing on Inui's list…**

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**#2:**

**Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. **

* * *

Fuji read the second thing to do on the list and thought of his next victim. Marui was already in a mental institute and that meant that he won't be able to bother him anymore until he is released.

After two minutes of eeny-meeny-miney-mo-ing, he picked Atobe.

He smiled an evil smirk and left his room.

* * *

Fuji sat down in a small café. It was the only place in town that sold wasabi-flavored tea. Since the other shops wouldn't open for another hour, he had plenty of time to think.

Knowing Atobe, he'd be in a very expensive shop in some random country that sells over-priced stuff. Although, Tokyo _is_ one of the most expensive cities to live in…Then again, he might go to an isolated place to show off his coolness or whatever. He might be in Antarctica.

'Meh,' Fuji thought, 'I'll just leave him to die from the cold weather and the penguins to murder him with snowballs. It actually can happen, you know. The penguins _go_ on the snow and then make them into snowballs and then the said snowballs go inside Atobe's mouth and he dies from the poison from the pee. (1)

He picked another target. Someone he knew that would still be in Japan.

Mizuki.

* * *

Mizuki would be in a place with plenty of tennis players around and the only place like that that Fuji could think of was a tennis store.

He went into a really big tennis shop and into its elevator.

People walked in and out of the elevator. None of them was the person Fuji was waiting for.

And then he spotted a seaweed haired dude talking to a stranger. Probably a potential tennis player.

He also saw his little brother somewhere there in need to go to the bathroom but Mizuki wouldn't let him go. Fuji became angry. He would take his revenge on him later.

Mizuki was walking into the elevator and Yuuta took this moment to run to the loo. The person Mizuki was talking to before was dancing to caramelldansen. (2)

The elevator door closed and Fuji smirked.

"Here, let me press the button for you," he offered.

MIzuki jumped as he heard Fuji's voice. He didn't expect to find Fuji in All Tennis Equipment Here. Then again, he was a tennis player; and a very good one at that. But, he expected him to be in some sort of sadist school where they teach students to be sadistic and _then_ look for him and torture him with any new technique that he had learnt there. Wait, he was there in front of him now. Could it be that he had graduated early and come to him to take revenge on him for hanging out with his little brother?

Wait.

He put a tracking device on his brother, didn't he? Well that explains why he has a scar on his forehead that didn't hurt at all. The tracking device was disguised as a scar!!!

And Yuuta might not have noticed at all…His siblings must have knocked him out and then bribe doctors to make a fake scar on his head…Typical Fuji.

But why an 'X'?

Meh, we'll find out later.

Now back to the topic.

Mizuki jumped. After landing on a cactus that was _coincidentally _under him, Fuji smirked and asked again, "Which floor do you want to go to?"

"Erm, the ninety-ninth floor, please?" Mizuki said.

Fuji nodded and pressed the button. As soon as his finger touched the button, visible surges of electricity flowed through his body. After that was over, a big smile spread across his face.

"What about you, Ma'am?" he asked the old woman beside him.

Mizuki's hand shook. "Erm, Fuji? Are you okay?"

Fuji smiled at him and asked the old lady again.

"T-th-the tw-twen-twenty millionth floor, please," she said in a shaky voice.

Fuji pressed the button and the same thing happened. This time, his smile grew wider.

Mizuki screamed like a girl and ran out the elevator door as it opened.

"Mommy, why is there a seaweed monster on the loose?" a little boy asked his mother. (3)

"Don't worry, the police will come very soon to arrest him," Fuji said. He got out his phone from his pocket and dialed the police.

"Hello?" the phone asked.

"The phone is talking!!" the little boy said, jumping up and down.

He was ignored.

"Sir, there's a crazy psycho in All Tennis Equipment Here who freaked out when I pressed the elevator buttons. I don't think he is okay," Fuji said into the phone.

The other end hung up.

They arrived in less than five minutes and arrested Mizuki as Fuji had said to the little boy.

After much interrogating, they dumped him into a mental institute beside Marui's.

* * *

**Mizuki:**

**Was called a seaweed monster by a little boy and sent to a mental institute beside Marui's. He jumped when the plastic bulbs that I placed on me lit up. He thought it was real electricity. He can be fooled very easily. The police thought he was crazy when he said that he saw electricity go past me. They thought he was inhumane for not letting my brother go to the bathroom. He will serve nine weeks in the institute and ugly-seaweed-monster classes**

Fuji closed the notebook and awarded himself with wasabi ice-cream for finally getting Mizuki away from his brother.

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**A/N: Done~ Finally!! Oh yeah, I'm trying to advertise my friend's story and you can find the link to her story on my profile. She's written another story and I'll put the link of that one later once she's posted it, okay?**

**This…Won't ever happen, right? I don't think that penguin urine is poisonous…Or is it?**

**Erm…I don't really know how to spell it…Is it with one 'l' or two?**

**I credit the series 'Phineas and Ferb'**

**PLEASE REVIEW!!!**


	4. Number 3 Jirou

**#3: **

**Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.**

* * *

Fuji took a sip of his wasabi tea. He needed to pick another target.

One name popped into his mind. Jirou. The 'narcoleptic freak' (1) of Hyoutei.

He wanted to take his revenge on people for hurting/being a bad influence to his dear little brother.

Although Marui didn't do anything wrong…

Ah well, who cares.

But where would Jirou go to that needs him to go up an elevator to get there?

Hm…

…

…

The library! It's so quiet and boring that no one will go there even if they advertised it and make it all interesting in any way that they can. Not even ants that smelt food on the floor or whatnot in the library. That's why you can't see ants in the library.

…Also because you can't bring food in there.

* * *

And sure enough, Jirou was there. Sleeping.

Sleeping on a table and no one noticed.

It was so empty.

Well, it was empty that day due to something Fuji did that did not involve smoke and sugar and fire extinguishers and plasticine. Jirou was asleep so he didn't notice.

Perfect.

Now all he needed to do was to get him inside the elevator, but how?

* * *

"Hey Jirou," Fuji whispered in his ear, "Wake up."

It's strange that he was whispering in his ear to wake him up rather than shouting.

Jirou was still asleep.

Fuji began shouting in his ear.

It didn't work.

He tried playing the drums.

Didn't work.

He tried every loud and soft thing known to man.

Nothing worked.

He ate instant ramen beside him.

Jirou woke up.

You wanna know why? Because Instant ramen is the best food in the world. (2)

Jirou woke up to the delicious odor of instant ramen. When he turned, he saw Fuji close-eyed and happily eating ramen.

"Is that instant ramen?" Jirou asked.

* * *

In some way or another, Fuji dragged Jirou inside the elevator without being noticed by anyone. Meh, that's what happens when you get everyone besides security out the library.

"Saa, let's go home now, Jirou," Fuji said, "It's already very late. Our families must be worried."

Jirou nodded. Fuji gave him coffee before they went inside the elevator to keep him awake. He still felt sleepy.

"Hey Jirou, can I press the button?" Fuji asked.

Before Jirou could reply, Fuji pressed a random button.

"I love pressing buttons. Especially big red ones." Fuji pressed a big red button. The elevator stopped and an alarm sounded. (3)

"What the ** did you do?!?!" Jirou shouted. He was wide awake and swearing.

"I pressed a big red button," Fuji said.

The security guards came running to see what made the alarm. You see, the whole building had been set up with alarms almost everywhere and they all sound the same so the guards so they didn't know which alarm sounded, the ' An Old Man Stole My Purse!!' alarm or the 'Cookies Are Attacking Me and Trying to Eat Me!!' alarm or even the 'My Dead Girlfriend/Boyfriend Came Back to Life as a Zombie and Is Trying to Chew My Head off as Revenge!!' alarm.

Why do they even _have_ these alarms in the first place?

The security guards ran to where the alarm was the loudest: the elevators on the second floor.

"Excuse me, people inside the elevator, what happened? What did you do? Are you being killed or attacked by cookies or zombies or, worst of all, FISH!?!?" Guard #1 shouted, hoping that they could hear them.

"No, it's worse than any of those put together!!" Fuji shouted, "There's a madman in here that's trying to kill me and then shouted 'I like pressing big red buttons' at the top of his lungs before pressing a big red button. Then he continued his attempt to kill me and then he fell asleep and then woke up again and then slept again."

"What?!?!" Jirou shouted, "I didn't try to kill you and you were the one who pressed the button!! Stop blaming me for everything!! The only thing I am capable of doing out of all those above is sleeping!!"

"Mr. Security, he's starting to blame me for the things he's done."

The security guards forced the elevator door open and dragged Jirou out and arrested him. They sent him to jail.

* * *

**Jirou:**

**It was tough to get him awake, but instant ramen did the trick. Big red buttons that make loud sounds work too. But, in the end, he didn't go to a mental institute, he went to jail instead.**

**Oh well, who cares.**

Fuji closed his book and looked at the next thing on his list:

**Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.**

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**A/N: Done!! Finally!! It's going to be a while before I update again. I blame homework.**

**I credit Apple Snapple for that name in her story '100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do In Hyoutei'**

**A friend of mine said that, but instead of instant ramen, it was instant noodle…**

**I don't really know if this'll happen or not.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!!!**


	5. Number 4 Kabaji & Jackal

**#4:**

**Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.**

* * *

'The psychic hotline? Does such thing even exist?' Fuji thought, 'Oh wait, it does. Kabaji worked there as a part-time job before. Hm, I think I should try making him lose his sanity too, but how can I make him lose his sanity when all he says is 'Usu' and shows no emotion at all?' At this point, he pictured Tezuka dressed as Kabaji. The perfect Halloween costume. All Tezuka then has to do is to say 'Usu' at every statement someone says.

A thought hit Fuji. 'Is Kabaji somehow related to Perry the Platypus from Phineas and Ferb? They both speak in some unknown language that has no meaning…Hm…Maybe Kabaji is a secret agent too! Kabaji the Stoic Human Who Only Says 'Usu'…Nah, too long. 'Kabaji the Rock'. Sounds better.

Fuji made his way inside an elevator.

"Fuji!!"

Fuji turned his head. Behind him was Jackal from Rikkaidai.

"Hi, Jackal, hey, did you hear? Marui was sent to a mental institute and a psychiatrist was assigned to him! Poor Marui." Although, Fuji didn't even care about Marui and whatever happened to him.

Jackal sighed. "We all knew he was mental when he started shouting at a cactus for being green. We just didn't accept it."

Fuji's eye twitched. Shouted at a cactus? He was going to do evil things to him once he gets his hands on him. No one is going to shout at a cactus and lives. Not when cacti-lovers are around. He made a mental note to himself to call other cacti-lovers to kill Marui later…In some slow and painful way.

As his mind began to fill with evil plans, something shiny caught his attention.

"Jackal, why are you bald?" he asked.

"What?! You didn't watch the flashback Marui and I had before?! Was it a flashback? Hm…" While Jackal began asking himself questions that somehow began to relate with cookies and worms, Fuji remembered the list. He got out his phone and dialed Kabaji.

"Hello?"

"Usu."

Jackal suddenly turned his attention to Fuji.

"Who are you calling?" Jackal asked.

Fuji drew the phone away from his mouth to answer him. "I am calling the psychic hotline to ask which floor I'm on. I'm lost."

Jackal opened his mouth to answer but he closed it again when Fuji directed his attention back to his phone. Jackal, being the gentleman that he is (cough), left Fuji to talk with the psychic.

"Hello?" Fuji said again.

"Usu."

"I'd like to know which floor I'm on. This is my first time in an elevator and I don't know where I am and I don't trust the people next to me. Or the screen in front of me that says which floor I'm on. So, which floor _am_ I on?" Jackal began to feel very sad at this point and started to cry. Fuji didn't trust him.

"Usu."

"So you're saying that elephants can really fly but are too shy and overweight to even _try_ to flap their ears?"

"Usu."

"I totally agree. We could really save the Earth if someone invents diapers made out of newspaper porridge." (1)

"Usu."

"Yeah, I think so too. Jackal is too bald." Jackal cried crocodile tears.

"Usu."

"Oh no! Really?! Winnie the Pooh's pee can make someone's hair grow faster?!" Jackal's head shot up and he ran out the elevator once it stopped and the doors parted.

"Usu…"

"I know, whatever I just said didn't make any sense and you want me to stop calling you and pretend that your number is the psychic hotline just because you once worked as a psychic but was fired because you could only speak in Usuese and no one could understand Usuese."

"…" This shocked Kabaji. No one had understood Usuese before. Not even his pet rock Rocka.

"Good-bye." The line went dead.

* * *

The next day, Fuji got the paper and read it on his bed.

'**ROCK FAINTS AND WAS SENT TO ROCK DOCTOR WHO KNOWS ROCKESE'**

**A ROCK WAS FOUND EARLY THIS MORNING COLLAPSED IN HIS ROOM. HE SEEMED TO HAVE FAINTED DUE TO SHOCK. WHEN HE AWOKE, HE SPOKE IN WHAT SEEMED LIKE ROCKESE. WE ALSO FOUND WORMS AND STICKS IN HIS POCKETS. POLICE THINK HE SUFFERS FROM INSANITY. I WANT COOKIES NOW.**

Fuji scratched Kabaji's name off his list of victims and attached the newspaper clipping to the notebook he kept.

Another article caught his eye.

'**BALD TEEN LOOKS FOR WINNIE THE POOH'S PEE'**

**YESTERDAY AFTERNOON, POLICE ARRESTED BALD TEEN WHO BROKE INTO DISNEY STUDIOS TO LOOK FOR WINNIE THE POOH. AUTHORITIES ARRESTED HIM WHEN HE GOT INTO A FIGHT WITH A SHOVEL. HE IS NOW CURRENTLY IN AN ASYLUM MADE ESPECIALLY FOR BALD PEOPLE WITH HAIR ISSUES.**

He cut the article out and taped it to the notebook again.

He smiled and left his table for wasabi-flavored milk.

And thus, the question to which floor Fuji was in remains unanswered. It's an unsolved mystery!

* * *

#5

Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

* * *

**A/N: !!**

**It's been such a long time since I've updated! I had been so busy with school and I just got sick recently and finals are next month!! I'll try updating soon…**

**I credit my Accounting teacher…**

**PLEASE REVIEW!!**


	6. Number 5 Shishido

Fuji stepped on an elevator. He didn't really have a target this time. He was too busy fussing over his new pet cactus to pick a target. Much too busy. Besides, he had to deal with a few cactus haters.

In fact, he even brought his new cactus along with him. He saw Shishido in the elevator, he said hi.

Fuji waved at him in response.

"Fuji, I didn't know you like to collect elevator figurines too!" Shishido said.

"Well, I don't really like collecting them. I'm just accompanying a friend here. Speaking of which, he's supposed to meet me in here five or so seconds ago."

"Your friend asked you to meet him in an elevator beside an elevator that is also beside an elevator and beside millions of other elevators? How will he know which one you're in?"

"Um, where am I again?"

"Elevator Paradise. The only store in the universe that sells everything related to elevators. From screws to life-sized elevator dolls. They even sell things not known to man, which pretty much means that aliens own this store. Right now, I'm on my way to the figurine department."

Fuji nodded. THAT explained the reason why there are collectors being squished in the same elevator as him. "Yep, he's supposed to meet me here."

"Why hasn't the stupid door closed yet?! Fuji! Press the **gasp**ing button already!! We've been waiting for over fifteen minutes and the annoying beeping noise whenever an elevator door won't close after sixty or so seconds is bothering me!!" Shishido shouted.

"Excuse me, Shihido-san. I'm waiting for a friend. If you could just keep quiet and stand still for a few more minutes, I won't have to look for something sharp or pointy to hurt you with," Fuji said, holding his cactus in front of Shishido.

Shishido grew even angrier. "Shut up and get that weapon away from me before I notify the police."

"Actually, if you do call the cops, I could say that you were disrupting the peace or whatnot and YOU will be the one who gets arrested." Shishido opened his mouth to say something but was stopped by Fuji shouting the lyrics of Barney the purple dinosaur's theme song.

Something caught his attention and he immediately stopped shout-singing and waved his hands frantically in the air.

"Greg!! Over here!!"

Everyone stared at Fuji and wondered what sort of delinquet he is for shouting a random English name in Japan and greeting him in Japanese as well. And then they had an ingenious thought: He was shouting at either an American or British or whatever nationality the person was and that person could speak their language.

They had another ingenious thought: the person he was calling was a Japanese with an English alias. Like some other famous high school tennis player who drives his friends crazy with his very funny (*cough*terrible*cough*) jokes.

Then they praised themselves for their thoughts and called themselves geniuses.

Everyone in the elevator strained their eyes to see and find out who this 'Greg' person was.

"Greg! There you are! Glad to know that you're still alive! I mean, you've been living in the desert recently and there isn't much water there, as far as I know. How's your day been?" Fuji said to a non-existent person entering the elevator.

Everyone scanned around. There was no sign of people talking to Fuji.

"Fuji, I think you should stop talking to yourself. You're scaring everyone in here." Shishido said.

"Shishido-san, I'm not talking to myself, I'm talking to my friend Greg."

"No, you're not. You're talking to no one. There is no one here named Greg."

Fuji's eyes flipped open. He was growing angry.

"I'm sorry Shishido-san. You're insulting my friend. I suggest you apologize now before we press charges."

Shishido rolled his eyes and called the police.

The police came immediately and asked what was wrong. Air conditioning, replied several customers. They fixed the AC and ask if they had further troubles. A little boy said that his fish was drowning. The police did mouth-to-mouth and Shishido said that Fuji was crazy because he was talking to himself and only crazy people do that. (1)

They asked Fuji to confirm Shishido's statement.

"Honestly! Can't a deeply troubled teenage boy talk to his own pet cactus in peace without people staring at him? It's not fair! Millions of other people on this Earth have pet rocks and they can talk to them without people staring at them. When I talk to a cactus, which is, unlike a rock, a living thing, people stare at me and call me crazy! It's not fair!" Fuji began crying fake tears. "Besides, HE is the one disrupting the peace and HE is the suspicious-looking one! And HE was picking on me!"

The police arrested Shishido after Fuji's breakdown.

* * *

Shishido

He seemed to have gotten really angry when the police took him away and he seemed even angrier during my scene. I think I caused him a mental breakdown. But I doubt that. They've put him in jail instead of an asylum, but he is still in police custody.

* * *

Fuji was glad that he took acting lessons when he was younger. In fact, the reason he took those lessons in the first place was to pretend to be Yuuta's girlfriend when he was older so that his brother wouldn't feel the pain of being left by a girl, and thus, his looking like a girl. (2)

* * *

A/N: Yay! I'm done with this one!! I hadn't had time to write recently due to babysitting my cousins. Moreover, I've skipped a week of school and that means more work will be dumped on me when I go back to school on Monday. Gr... I hate school sometimes.

(1) No offense to people who talk to themselves.

(2) I made this up when my cousin asked why Fuji looked like a girl. That popped into my mind. She asked if he had two genders so that he could change his genders at will. Five-year-olds and their imagination...

PLEASE REVIEW!!


	7. Number 6 Kamio

**#6**

**Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"**

* * *

Fuji went towards a monkey cage, hoping to find Atobe hanging out with his relatives with no luck.

Fuji sulked and put his camera back into his bag. He had hoped that he could take pictures of him with his family of monkeys and then use them as blackmail material, but since he wasn't there, there was nothing he could do.

"Meh, I might was well wait for him to come back from his trip to Alaska or wherever he went. I wonder who else is free," Fuji said.

Then, a thought hit him. Well, a thought _and _a stone. But since the stone was the only visible thing there, it might be that the stone and the idea was having a competition to see who was first to hit his head and then when they both hit his head at the exact same time, the stone ate the idea and then fell to the ground because it had a stomachache.

He turned around to see who threw the stone, but then stopped when he realized that flying stones that was attracted to his head was much cooler than having some random person throw them at you, so he decided to leave it as it was and pretended that the stone flew toward his head instead.

After all that deciding, he felt like killing someone with orange hair. One person popped in his mind. A random person named Ichigo from Bleach, but since he was in a different anime and he needed to torture someone from _this_ anime, he had to choose someone else.

The only person he knew who had anything close to orange hair was Kamio. Red and yellow becomes orange. He'd torture Tachibana later. He felt like doing something to a one-eyed creepy dude.

Fuji sulked. Where would he find Kamio that has an elevator in there? Knowing him, he would be somewhere near Ann Tachibana. But, even though he was an evil genius (1) he was too lazy to think.

He went to the nearest sports centre and entered the lift.

He saw Kamio there.

Fuji smiled. He had incredible luck.

"Fuji!" Kamio called out. If he could somehow convince Fuji to teach him some of his _super cool_ moves, he could be able to beat really strong or amazing players like Hercules or something. He's unbelievable strong. Superman too, I bet they could beat up all the butterflies in his house or something like that. If they manage to kill all of the butterflies in his house, he'd be able to teach the butterflies a lesson and maybe conquer the entire butterfly kingdom or whatnot.

Somehow, Fuji read his mind and then stated that butterflies were an insignia that represents good luck or something like that (2).

Speaking of luck, Fuji remembered that he _knows _an orange-haired freak. Sengoku!

"It's rather late now, and I don't think I'll be lucky enough to find Sengoku… He's probably hiding from me somewhere in a deep dark hole, being lucky and not get eaten by creepy spiders," Fuji said out loud to himself.

He might as well work on Kamio for now. Sengoku will be his next victim.

He dropped his cactus.

He didn't really have a pen and he thought that maybe if he pretended that he was in deep thought, Kamio would think that he dropped his cactus _accidently_ and then tell him about it. Fuji would then ignore him and pretend to be deaf.

He also made sure that there was a security guard nearby to witness everything so he wouldn't need to waste load (3) on calling the police.

From his original load of five thousand yen, it had decreased to one thousand yen after calling the police day after day and ordering wasabi flavored sushi every day after school, wasabi ice-cream as well and don't forget the store that sells wasabi guns (4) and wasabi explosives.

He blamed calling the police because the stores would sue him for blaming them but the police won't recognize his face because there are thousands of policemen out there and each time he called them, a different person from the previous time shows up.

And besides, hating policemen is so much more fun than hating waitresses or waiters or shop owners or whoever owns or works in a shop.

A loud thud broke his train of thought.

Kamio, after picking up his cactus, dropped it again.

Fuji went into a fit of rage.

He opened his deadly blue eyes and glared at Kamio to death.

The security guard then arrested whatever was left of Kamio.

He charged Kamio with the crime of bothering an innocent individual and stealing his even more innocent cactus.

Kamio then woke up in a prison cell and then shouted, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

The prison cell ruined his hopes and dreams to become a professional tennis player.

He wept in silence and the other prisoners left him alone to angst in a very colourful corner with unicorns and rainbows painted on its walls.

* * *

**Kamio:**

**Kamio was sent to jail instead of the mental institute because of the blind rage I felt when he dropped my cactus. I will need to redo that.**

**Note: Kamio has very red hair. Must find out why.**

Fuji closed the book again and then continued his train of thought that Kamio interrupted.

* * *

**#7:**

**Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.**

* * *

**A/R: If I haven't explained yet, I've noticed that the little footnotes at the end aren't notes, they're rants. So, it'll be A/R from now on. **

**Sorry I haven't been updating much lately. I had to deal with exams and then my teacher was hospitalized and I just got sick. Hooray. **

**But the good news is, since my grades have improved, I'll be able to update more often~~ **

**Have you ever noticed that a lot of geniuses in movies or books or stories are evil?**

**I got that from **_**The Alchemist**_** by **_**Paulo Coelho**_**. It's good, I guess, but I don't really like it all that much…**

**I don't really know what you call it in your country. In Malaysia and Philippines, they call it 'load', Indonesia 'credit' or 'pulsa'. Basically it's the money in your phone.**

**Technically it's kind of a gun made of wasabi. Machine gun; wasabi gun. Meh, no difference….Kinda.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!!!**


	8. Number 7 Sengoku

**#7:**

**Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.**

Fuji smiled at the current annoying thing he needed to do in the elevator. He loved photography and this was the perfect chance to practice photography. He needed the practice since he was bothered daily by his mean green (1) haired glasses-wearing best friend to train and practice every day to improve his tennis skills or something like that.

But since he was his best friend, he could do nothing but tease him whenever possible or drive him mad in some way to take his revenge on him.

Either way, he wins. Tezuka loses. Yay.

He walked towards the elevator, still in thought. Before, he kind of messed up when trying to send Kamio to the mental institute because of his visits to thoughtland. He was sent to prison instead. Mwhahahhaahahah. Fuji laughed evilly at the thought.

Then he realised he was thinking again and then stopped. He didn't want to go off track again and then accidently kill someone. Not like last time when he accidently killed an ant when he was deep in thought on his way home. The poor ant suffered for several miliseconds under the weight of Fuji's foot before dying an unimaginable death.

Well, you can imagine it, but then you would have to think about it and then you'd accidently kill another ant.

A thought struck Fuji. He didn't really mean it. He couldn't help being a genius with overly active brain cells. His thought: if he stopped thinking, he wouldn't be a homo sapien anymore. He would just be a homo (2)! People would misunderstand and call him gay and then write lots of yaoi fics about him on FanFiction!

Then he smiled. If there were more yaoi fics about him, the more scared his teammates and/or people who know him would be. He cackled evilly.

The people around him who could not read his smiled looked at him strangely. The people who _could_, thought he was mentally retarded and did some psychic-like things and then hugged a flying cookie. Aren't flying cookies just awesome? They taste good and they don't even exist!! That's the best part!! Since it doesn't exist, the psychics wouldn't have been able to hug anything so people think they're in need of some kind of special help! Another good thing is that the cookies won't take over the world and hurt Fuji's cactus in the process.

Fuji cackled evilly again.

This time, people tried to stay as far away from him as possible.

He entered a random elevator. He didn't really care who his target was. It wasn't really important. Fuji hoped that it would be someone ugly so later, after he takes his picture, he would looking seemingly handsome and not ugly as he usually was thanks to Fuji's photography skills and then some famous photographer would notice Fuji's talent and then pay him twelve million yen for each picture he took.

The famous photographer would then study Fuji's pictures and then bow down to Fuji's greatness.

Then Fuji thought that maybe, if that continues, he could take over the world.

In walked Sengoku.

Fuji smiled evilly yet again. Sengoku was the perfect ugly victim he needed. (3)

"Hey Fuji!" Sengoku called out. Fuji turned and took his picture.

Fuji groaned. "Sengoku-san, you ruined my shot of you!! How could you do such a thing?!" Fuji pretended to tear up for a dramatic effect and so that everyone around would take notice of them and think that they were gay and keep a distance away from them. Fuji made sure that there were people who knew whichever one of his current, past and future victims, just in case any of his victims couldn't make it. He did this to make sure that when Sengoku is released from the asylum, he would feel pain as well. The pain of having no friends. As we all know, somehow everyone from the anime Prince of Tennis catch word very fast.

Sengoku apologized to Fuji, bowing several times. Fuji accepted his apology and took another ugly picture of him.

This time, he made Sengoku kneel on the dirty floor of the elevator and worship him and massage his toes.

Sengoku groaned. True, he had taken some toe-massaging lessons just in case something happens, but he never said that he liked it.

He groaned again as he began Fuji's toe massage.

Fuji secretly took a picture of him massaging his toes and made a mental note to himself to use it to blackmail Sengoku someday.

Sengoku groaned again. Clearly, he wasn't enjoying the stinky smell of feet.

Fuji took more pictures of him, this time, from above so no one would be able to see his ugly face. This means that he looks better in Fuji's picture than in real life.

Fuji smiled and loved that he was an evil genius, not a normal genius because normal geniuses aren't evil. Or so we think.

Sengoku looked up from his wonderful massaging once Fuji took a picture of his head, including his magical powder. (4)

Fuji noticed how beautiful Sengoku's eyes were and took more pictures of them. Sengoku got blinded by the light and accidently hit Fuji when he was trying to rub his eye.

"HELP!!! A CREEPY PSYCHO JUST HIT ME ON THE HEAD AND IS TRYING TO EAT MY BRAINS!!!" he screamed.

Police immediately arrived and took Sengoku away.

For the rest of the day, Fuji displayed his artwork in front of the toilets because most people would go to or pass by the toilets because they are oh so conveniently built in someplace convenient.

That day, Fuji was crowned the King of 'Beautiful Photography' under the 'Blinding the Subject' category.

**Sengoku:**

**Temporarily blind. Doctor said that said person would be so for another six months. Unless the eye will be extremely destroyed beyond repair or his eyeballs fall out. He was sentenced to five months in the mental institute without ice-cream. He began to cry his eyes out then. But, miraculously, his eyeballs were still intact. **

**A/R: Good news: I've finished with this chapter!!**

**Bad news: What I thought were finals were actually midterms. (So that kind of explained why we still needed to go to school) So I'll be studying involuntarily for the next few weeks… But when I do take a break, I'll try to write a chap of a random fic or something. Or I'd sleep to avoid studying more. (Somehow, I manage to still get good grades even if I don't study as hard as **_**some**_** people I know. *Looks at everyone from my class* Yay.)**

**Anyways, my birthday is coming up, so if anyone is willing to draw me anything, write me anything, I'd really love to see it!! (Especially during study breaks which happen in between about every five minutes of studying…)**

**At least, I _think_ his hair's green.**

**Sapiens: Thinking. You know which 'homo' I'm referring to now, right?**

**Just my personal opinion…**

**What my Geography teacher calls the wonderful fungus: lice.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!!!**


	9. Number 8 Tachibana

**#8:**

**Move your desk into the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.**

Fuji had a hard time moving his desk into an elevator without people staring at him every millisecond and a security guard stopping him every now and then.

It was really mean of those security guards to do such thing! Sure, they can be useful to people who are being robbed or killed or whatever fatality and casualties, and they even help _cats _when they were stuck on trees. If they could help cats, why can't they help Fuji in _his_ time of need that was clearly more important instead of just standing there, talking into a walkie-talkie, blinking, breathing, telling him that he wasn't allowed to move his desk into the elevator and that he should get a life. They never did this to cats! So cats were more important than him?

Oh wait, I take that back. The people who help cats are firemen.

Fuji had a brilliant thought.

_Five minutes of really hard work, torture, sweat and fake tears later…_

Fuji called the fire department.

"Hello, you have reached the firemen's office. For assistance on aliens, press one," the pre-recorded voice said.

Fuji smiled and made a mental note to himself to call them sometime later.

"For assistance on your cat being stuck on a tree, press two."

Fuji didn't have a cat and the only cat he saw in the mall had just finished doing its _business_ and he didn't want to get his hands dirty in any way.

"For assistance on fires, press three."

Fuji thought it was weird for _fire_men to have the 'fire' option pressed on the third button and the people having to wait for about two minutes or something.

"For assistance on Elmo's World, Cookie Monster World or Ant World, press four, five or six."

What was wrong with people nowadays?

"For assistance on none of the above, press seven."

Fuji pressed seven.

This time, a real voice answered.

"Hello, what can I do to help you? Let me guess, you want me to kill Barney too, don't you?"

"Um, no," Fuji answered, "It's just a little problem I have. My desk is stuck on a tree and since you help cats who are stuck on trees, we thought we should call you."

"We? Okay, then, kid. Give me your name, description and your friend's name and description and your location. Our locating machine is malfunctioning; it keeps saying that you're on Mars."

"My name is Fuji Shuusuke, I'm a fourteen-year-old male; my friend's name is Greg and he's a two-month old cactus. We're at a mall under the sky and above the sea. I see lots of people walking by and plenty of shops."

"Thank you for the information. I'll be there in a few seconds."

He arrived.

Fuji motioned to a fake tree and a security guard. He was probably saying that his desk was stuck on the tree because the evil security guard threw it.

The fireman got it down, ranted at the importance of child-safety, tree-safety and desk-safety and helped Fuji move it into the elevator.

Fuji thanked him and sat behind his desk.

It was nine in the morning. Perfect.

A little girl stepped into the elevator.

"Excuse me miss, but do you have an appointment with the monsters under your frilly and girly bed?" he asked like how a good secretary would (1).

The little girl pictured a fluffy cookie being eaten by an ugly monster and ran out the elevator crying.

A man in a very expensive suit entered Fuji's 'office'.

Before the man could say anything, Fuji asked in a monotone voice, "Excuse me, mister, but do you have an appointment? If you do not, get off this elevator before my security guards behind you poke you to death."

The man looked behind him. He saw two giant cactuses in the security guard uniform with very, very big sunglasses.

He sweatdropped and left the crazy man alone in the elevator.

Tachibana walked in next.

"Excuse me, ma'am, do you have an appointed with _him_?" Fuji asked, making his voice mysterious like.

Tachibana raised an eyebrow. "Ma'am? Um, Fuji, I'm a guy and we know each other and I don't look anything like a girl and who the *insert place where Schmitt and Bach and Sevcik and Schradiek are right now, suffering* is '_him_'?" (2)

Fuji kept his eyes closed and replied coolly, another thing a good secretary would do. "You _think_ you're a man, but you might actually be a girl. You'll never know, right? Anyways, we don't encourage swearing here, so if you want to swear until your mouth and teeth and tongue and taste buds rot, do so outside this special room. _He _is my boss, _he_ is Greg. Do you have an appointment with him?"

Tachibana rolled his eyes while keeping one of his eyebrows raised. "Greg? Your newest pet cactus?"

Fuji finally opened his eyes and retorted, "HE IS NOT MY PET CACTUS! HE IS MY BOSS! HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT HIM!"

Fuji called security and the cactuses behind him arrested him and sent him to the nearest mental institute which was somewhat close to the toilet…

**Tachibana:**

**Tachibana wasn't actually crazy. They were persuaded to take him in by the sharp spikes on the undead cactuses that were holding him.**

"**How did they come to life?" the people of the mental institute asked Tachibana.**

**Tachibana tried to shrug but he couldn't. He realized that he became paralyzed from the spikes that were poking him before. He couldn't move. At that point, the people thought that was why the undead cactuses thought he was crazy.**

**Tachibana got stroke next (3) and then his head stayed in the same position, outstretched and pinned to the side. He couldn't see anything happening on his right side anymore and he couldn't move his head. This is the real reason he was hospitalized in episode one hundred something.**

Fuji smiled at the cactus-security guards. Even he didn't know how they came to life. Maybe it was the horrible smell that emitted from Tachibana that made them come to life and move him far, far away.

**A/N: Yes, I'm not supposed to be writing during finals, but I have a three-day holiday and besides, today's my birthday **

**I couldn't help it **

**By the way, **daisy_, _**Caramelldansen is a cute Swedish song that comes with its own cute unique dance. Search for it on YouTube. You can find so many videos of it.**

**The class secretaries in my class are terrible secretaries.**

**Yes, the place beginning with the letter 'H'. They are there because they make everyone suffer from their fingerdrills. (Especially Schmitt! Because of him, my friend quit the piano, my other friend went down a grade and my teacher said his name by mistake when he wanted me to get Sevcik. I got the wrong book****) Except Bach. All his songs that are in minor are torture! **

**I'm not sure if that's possible, but I want to make him experience tragedy after tragedy or something like that..**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	10. Number 9 The REAL Kirihara

**#9:**

**Lay down the Twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.**

**

* * *

**

Fuji laughed evilly.

Niou shrieked the word 'puri' over and over again evilly.

They are both evil people.

"Well Niou, care to help me with this one? I think I'm going to need more imagination and creativity to pull this off," Fuji asked, walking towards his bed.

"Hm.. Maybe, we'll see. It kind of depends on who the victim is. I'm not so mean as to hurt my own teammates! Then again… Never mind. Count me in! Have you done Marui yet? I feel like having some free chocolate," Niou answered, following Fuji towards his bed.

Fuji chuckled. "Yep, he suffered. And so will all my victims."

Fuji and Niou crawled under Fuji's bed. (1)

"I remember we used to hide secret stashes of everything down here. Still have the Mickey Mouse Twister mat?" Niou reminisced.

Fuji chuckled. "We fed that to the rapid earthworms in Inui's backyard remember? Nah, I just bought a new one with pictures of Barbie and Barney getting married. Though, there aren't any pictures of their mutant half-purple dinosaur and half-freakishly-tall-blonde-woman children though. Oh wait, here they are dressed as watermelons and fluffy half-vampire chickens."

"Perfect," they both said in unison and crawled out from under his bed.

"So who're we going to torture today?"

"You up for bothering Kirihara? Turns out I got Kirihara and Mizuki mixed up, since they're both annoying fat guys and are both extremely unimportant. (2)

Niou gasped. "My own teammate? How could I do such a thing? Meh, I hate his guts, speaking of guts why don't we just use his guts to make violin strings? Hopefully it'll work so much better than goat guts. (3)

"Annoying fat guy number 3 it is." (2)

* * *

"Brought your Twister mat and make-up kit, Fuji?"

"I couldn't decide which Twister mat to bring: the one with Barney marrying Barbie and having a mutant child or the one with Mickey Mouse having bite marks around his ears and eyes. Actually, now that I take a good look at it, the bite marks around his eyes look like really long eye lashes."

"Mickey Mouse already looks feminine as is. What _does_ Minnie Mouse see in him anyways?"

"I don't know, but love works in weird ways. Anyways, which one should we use? Mutant kid or girly Mickey?"

"How about we just sew them together to make the whole mat longer. That way we won't have to decide between the retarded pictures, thus making the final result look even more retarded."

They nodded and looked for a magic spindle like the one in the movie Sleeping Beauty to sew the mats together. They knew that if they do it themselves, Mickey was going to lose an ear and the mutant kid.. Well, bad things would happen to the freaky mutant thingy.

They found a magic spindle in the highest tower of a deserted palace and blackmailed it to sew for them for free.

Where they got the blackmail material and what were they we do not know.. Yet. Stay tuned to find out!

* * *

Fuji and Niou entered the building with lots of pictures of sushi pasted onto the walls. They thought that the owners/managers of the sushi shop would try to cut production costs of producing the seaweed to make sushi with and so earning more profit by getting Kirihara to work there and let them pluck random strands of his hard and wrap them around rice.

They found him.

All they needed to do now was to drag him out of the shop and throw him into an elevator, but then it wouldn't seem very natural.

They didn't care.

They explained to the owners of the business that Kirihara's ugliness was ruining the taste of the sushi.

They didn't listen.

Fuji and Niou had no choice but to call the hygiene department of the government to shut down the restaurant they walked into.

They called.

The people on the other end of the phone answered.

They explained the situation of the ugly seaweed-haired boy.

They hygiene department couldn't care less saying that they would get on that case in ten years time.

Fuji hung up the phone and pulled a pen and paper out of his pocket.

"Since I want the hygiene department to be crushed by revenge-driven dinosaurs that walked the face of this earth several million years ago and were killed by the Big Bang which was a gigantic meteor and made up of flying rocks which are the same rocks the hygiene department has in their research lab to see whether the dinosaurs were hygienic or not, I'm going to add a random tax I just thought of while dreaming of revenge-driven dinosaurs destroying the shiny hygiene department which I like to call: Ugliness Tax," Fuji said, scribbling down notes and doodles.

"Ugliness Tax?" the owner of the shop repeated.

Niou answered for Fuji since he looked really busy scribbling fake moustaches over his previous drawings of Mickey Mouse having a one-to-one combat with Winnie the Pooh.

"Yes, Ugliness Tax. We all know how ugly Kirihara is, don't we? Besides, you're ugly too. So ha! Now to be free from our tax this month, we'd like you let us drag this ugly _thing_ away from this building. Thank you."

Niou didn't wait for a reply and dragged Kirihara off the table he was sitting on and continued to drag him across the floor of the shop and the debris around the road. Fuji followed them, still scribbling over his notes and drawings.

"So Fuji, why am I here again? I was pretty happy at my part-time job."

Fuji and Niou frowned.

"We were bored and lonely, so we decided to just bother you and force you against your will to play Twister with us. By playing with us, I mean you play and we record your movements until your pants rip or your bone breaks or something."

This time, Kirihara frowned.

"Stop copying us! We're more special than you!" Niou shrieked.

"Dude, you sound like a girl," Fuji commented, "_I'm _the one who's supposed to sound like a girl! How could you just steal my characteristic away from me?"

Niou shrugged.

Fuji shrugged too.

Then they decided to just get on with their lives and make others miserable.

Niou got out his video camera.

A red light blinked.

"Okay Kirihara, the little spindle here says: **put your left foot onto Mickey's bitten face to cover up his ugliness**," Fuji read.

Kirihara did so.

"Next: **Put your right foot in and then your left foot out and then you shake it all about.**"

"Are you _sure_ this is Twister?" Kirihara and Niou asked.

"Nah, it's more of Twister mixed with Simon Says without me saying Simon Says before a command. So it's like you have to listen to and follow my every whim. Like a slave or something like that," Fuji answered.

Kirihara did as he was told. He thought it was better to just do as he was told. It could help him live longer.

"**Use your right hand to one-hand-hug your left arm.**"

Kirihara was starting to look more like a pretzel.

"**With your head free, use your lips to kiss the picture of Barney in the wedding dress and then Barbie in the tux."**

Kirihara just scarred the eyes of all little children in the elevator.

"**Now wait for your hair to grow to your shoulders before you can be released from that position and go home and eat."**

Eyes are the mirrors of the heart. Kirihara's eyes were swearing all swears known to man in two different languages, English and Japanese.

"If you leave from that spot, Niou and I would give you a freakishly weird nickname and then _persuade_ everyone we know to call you that. See you later Kirihara!" Fuji waved.

The police line rang.

"Hello?" the police officer answered.

"Good day officer. I'd just like to report an annoying fat teenager doing extreme yoga in an elevator and scarring the minds of the little kids of this country. He's in the elevator of a very big and shiny building with lots of sparkly windows. Have a nice day, officer."

He hung up.

The officer became confused.

Was it just him or was the younger generation of this country getting less and less sane in every elevator?

**Kirihara:**

**The ugly annoying fat guy was arrested early this evening on the account of scarring the minds of little kids. He was found by security guards loitering around the area after receiving a call from the nearest police department about another psycho teenager who was a crazy supporter of Barney x Barbie.**

**They arrested him on the spot and sentenced him to two months in prison and weekly classes of Barney-is-not-real rehab.**

**

* * *

**

#10:

Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

* * *

**A/R: People, I'm still alive! But I don't know for how long considering how busy I will be after this term break. (Which starts this Wednesday~~)**

**I haven't updated for months! Hehehe.. I blame school. I've been busy with tests every day! Ugh! I haven't had much sleep either.. Hehheeh… None of my friends have too, I guess. And if you people noticed, there's a little bit of Economics here and there.. Hehehe.. Expect another update hopefully within this week. HOPEFULLY.**

**And a very big thank you for** Sapphirewood** for pointing out the name mix-up XD**

**Picture young Fuji and Niou crawling under the bed, hiding stashes of candy and bugs. Cute, right?**

**The nickname 'Annoying Fat Guy' is copyrighted by me. (Yeah, I need to start copyrighting things XD) So that's why Kirihara is Annoying Fat Guy number 3. Number 1-2 are in my school.**

**The best strings ever made for the violin are made of lamb guts. Cool, huh?**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


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